Feb9
Phantom glasses
So, I was just catching up on a few older posts on my lovely friend Andrea’s blog, and this one really struck me. Read it, then read on.
For me, it wasn’t that I had glasses, I have my father’s eyes and don’t need them, unlike my siblings. That being said, I was the kid who should have had glasses – and all the rest, for that matter. For some reason, impressions of me were often characterized by stereotypical nerditry (not a word, but possibly should be), sometimes followed by the occasional confused look when people realised that I didn’t actually have them. I had some phantom appearance that I don’t think really went anywhere until probably early high-school, when I suddenly went from counting my friends on one hand to socially trying to understand the varying degrees of friendship that comes from having dozens of them.
I think her comments about her younger self ring very true to me, and I periodically wonder what I would tell myself if I was given the opportunity to go back in time. I think letting myself know that the bullies will (for the most part) grow up, that growing pains are temporary and that I will make amazing connections with people around the world who truly see and love me for who I am would probably be what I would say. I know I will never be able to return to those times and say these things, and that if I did I would possibly grow up to be a different person. My experiences, good and bad, shaped me into who I am through the lessons that I’ve learned.
At the very least, I look at it this way: that desire to inform your younger self is part of being a parent. Thinking like this gives me a new perspective on my own parents, and what they must have been thinking as they tried their best to raise me. I wonder, will I try to pass these lessons on to my own children? Will they listen?
What do you think?
2 comments
You had that long pony tail to compensate.
In any case, if you look at it through her theory, this whole lack of glasses thing could have helped people see you for you… and it could have potentially given you shelter to a degree from bullies and being the butt of all jokes (or at least reduced the amount of crap you were given), which in turn made you a lot more comfortable with being yourself around others.
I know that from my point of view, one of the best things I like about you is that you are a self-admitted geek and proudly announce and love that fact… but that’s still only but a fraction of your entirety. You are simply yourself and you don’t hide that fact from public view. How much of that is to be attributed to your lack of glasses or your physical appearance growing up is anybody’s guess, though I myself tend to believe that looks always have and always will play a huge impact in how a person grows mentally and emotionally… to a far bigger extent in fact than most people would even begin to consider.
Didn’t have the long hair until university, actually.
My point was more that I had a similar sensation with an image that wasn’t really there, and I assure you that did nothing to shelter me from bullies.
I certainly appreciate your vote of confidence in myself. I’ve always been myself, more or less. I struggled for a while trying to be many people to fulfil different expectations of me, and in the end it took a fair bit of work to be myself again. I’m far more comfortable in my own skin being myself as a result, though.